On Valentine’s Day I received a really funny SMS. It said, “To all the lovey-dovey couples out there-happy valentine’s day- and to all the singles- happy Independence Day!!! ”
I know we have a good laugh about it because it strikes a chord with most, but while I do understand that it’s a responsibility to be in a relationship or to be married, and that there is an interdependence created by the bond, the seeming absence of independence in most relationships, is to me, disturbing.
Why is it that it’s essential to become a ‘couple’ but not equally important to retain ‘individuality’ or the ability to tread your own path, be it career, hobbies or lifestyle?
I was most impressed while watching Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Films reflect the change in society and send strong messages about changing scenarios in the society. Abhay Deol’s character does not want to get married to his fiancee, because despite being a successful, career woman she wants to chuck everything for marriage. He wants a woman who is independent, successful and has her own life too. How refreshing! Many couples feel traditional role playing, or having ‘identicalness’ is the recipe for success. It’s not. It’s perfectly fine to like polar genres of cinema, music, or play different sports. It’s not essential to have ‘sameness’ to be a perfect couple. Of course it’s nice to be aware of your partners’ whereabouts or inform them if either will be late etc, but a 24/7 watchdog approach is suffocating. A lack of independence is directly related to control. Couples should depend on each other for love, respect and encouragement to discover their full potential while retaining a definite sense of individuality and independence. Happy Independence Day to all!