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 Posted on: October 27th, 2011
The suicide statistics for the year 2010 have been published by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) – a unit of the Honorable Union Ministry for Home Affairs, Govt. of India. As usual, apart from painting a very grim picture about the society, the numbers tells a tale that better be called as tell-tale of the stress levels in the society, especially for husbands.
Husbands, who are more often than not, passed off as unsung heroes for all the sacrifices and contributions they make for their families, are on the worst side of the suicide scale.
Year over year, more and more husbands are committing suicides and despite efforts by men’s rights groups to create awareness about the same, the message seems to be falling on deaf ears as we are only seeing an upward trend in the suicides committed by husbands.
In the year 2010, 61453 husbands have committed suicide vis-à-vis 31754 wives. Similar numbers for 2009 were 58192 and 31300 respectively.
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Posted on: September 25th, 2011
Now that’s such a phrase that’s been ingrained in our minds since the very childhood… The boys are told that its a male dominated world, so they don’t have to worry, just dominate the world. Girls on the other hand are continuously taught, that since its a male dominated world out there, so they need to dominate ‘their’ male partners at home and around. Sounds familiar?
Well, amongst all these ‘teachings’, has anyone stopped for a while to look around and ask a simple question… Is it really true? Is it really a male dominated society? Do we call it ‘male dominated’ just because the number of men working outside the house is more than the number of women?
To answer this question, I’ll try to start by digging some past, then look at the present and try to project some future too!
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Posted on: August 14th, 2011 On Valentine’s Day I received a really funny SMS. It said, “To all the lovey-dovey couples out there-happy valentine’s day- and to all the singles- happy Independence Day!!! ”
I know we have a good laugh about it because it strikes a chord with most, but while I do understand that it’s a responsibility to be in a relationship or to be married, and that there is an interdependence created by the bond, the seeming absence of independence in most relationships, is to me, disturbing.
Why is it that it’s essential to become a ‘couple’ but not equally important to retain ‘individuality’ or the ability to tread your own path, be it career, hobbies or lifestyle?
I was most impressed while watching Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Films reflect the change in society and send strong messages about changing scenarios in the society. Abhay Deol’s character does not want to get married to his fiancee, because despite being a successful, career woman she wants to chuck everything for marriage. He wants a woman who is independent, successful and has her own life too. How refreshing! Many couples feel traditional role playing, or having ‘identicalness’ is the recipe for success. It’s not. It’s perfectly fine to like polar genres of cinema, music, or play different sports. It’s not essential to have ‘sameness’ to be a perfect couple. Of course it’s nice to be aware of your partners’ whereabouts or inform them if either will be late etc, but a 24/7 watchdog approach is suffocating. A lack of independence is directly related to control. Couples should depend on each other for love, respect and encouragement to discover their full potential while retaining a definite sense of individuality and independence. Happy Independence Day to all!
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Posted on: August 13th, 2011 
Mutually Agree On Child Custody And Alimony
Bangalore: More than the breakdown of a marriage, it is getting a divorce which is the greater ordeal. Thanks to a generation which loves everything instant, more and more couples now refuse to wait to separate. In a trend seen in India’s IT capital over the past five years, couples are living separately for a year and then opting for divorce through mutual consent. The process is simple, saves time, money and, especially, agony.
Nearly 2,780 divorce cases were filed in the Bangalore Family Court from January 1 to August 10 this year. Some 70% of the couples opt for divorce by mutual consent, said an official of the family court. With
time at a premium, more couples in the 25-40 age group prefer to separate this way. They don’t make allegations against each other, and the process is less traumatic.
“The party (seeking divorce) is spared a prolonged legal battle,” explained advocate B N Muthanna, who has practised in the family court for many years. “Eight of 12 divorce cases I handled this year were settled through mutual consent.”
Another family court lawyer, Zahida Hussain, said: “When a couple files a divorce plea, the judge suggests mediation. If they don’t agree to reconcile, then the court suggests further process. Most couples nowadays opt for mutual consent.”
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Posted on: August 13th, 2011 Neither personality similarities nor differences have much of a role to play in a successful long-lasting marriage, according to a new study.
The study, which included couples who had been married for at least 40 years, suggest the personality matching carried out by dating websites may make little difference in a relationship’s ultimate success, the researchers say.
“One of my very speculative suspicions is that this need for a relationship is so strong that it overcomes differences,” study researcher Frederick Coolidge told LiveScience.
Coolidge and colleagues had 32 couples take surveys to assess their personality and how satisfied they were in their marriages. Men and women were asked to evaluate their own personality as well as their perceptions of their partners’ personalities.
The couples completed the surveys in separate rooms and were not allowed to see their partners’ responses.
“We didn’t want to create any divorces,” Coolidge said.
The study found that both men and women were pretty happy in their marriages, but on average, the women reported being slightly happier than the men. Neither the length of the marriage nor personality traits (self-identified and those perceived by the spouse) were associated with the couples’ level of marital satisfaction.
This may be because, over the long haul, “different personalities may provide couples with complementary resources for dealing with life”s challenges,” Levenson told LiveScience.
The study was presented at the American Psychological Association’s annual meeting in Washington, D.C.
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Posted on: April 25th, 2011 In a culture that celebrates marriage as a sacrament, home is highest across all beliefs. But the focus that has rapidly changed from community to self has dislodged our framework of family, respect and obligation. Is our value base on regression mode, wonders Tejaswi Uthappa
 “What was your reason to get me married?,” I probed my mother as I started work on this article. While she took her moment to frame an acceptable answer, my all-knowing all-of-nine, bounded to my lap and held my face tightly in his palms. With his characteristic, infectious smile he declared, “To have ME! Simple, silly!”
Kisses flew around the room. My son had, in one spontaneous moment, uttered the ultimate truth behind all creation.
For a country like India, this is the perfect endorsement for family — one that has always worked.
So when this idyllic situation witnesses trends that are totally opposed to its ethos, the jolt is hard because while the ideology that is India prospers as a nation, something is going horribly wrong at the very core of its society.
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